Why do exes try so hard to antagonize step-parents; even years after the divorce?

What exactly are the notes about? That she wants to discuss things relating to their son? I dont see anything wrong with that. If I were you I would not react to her unless she face to face says something to you. Then you can defend yourself in a nice mannerly way being careful to not throw insults back to her. But really, is she being mean directly to you? Or is it that you just dont like the way she is writing notes to your husband and thing slike that? You are probably better off ignoring, taking the high road rather than engaging in petty arguments that don't ever accomplish anything. And be grateful you have a loving husband and family.